Numb
by Cenazbadazz1stlady
Summary: Nathan's thoughts before he passed out of the drugs....I own nothing and nobody....I don't own the song....feedback welcomed


His mind was racing. Tonight was the night that he had to beat his dad's record. Screw Lucas, and the rest of Tree Hill High, it was his moment in glory. There was no way that anyone was going to take his victory. He had no choice. Since Lucas started playing, Dan was riding him much harder about everything. He had to win; he couldn't afford to lose this time. He had to get the pressure of his father off his shoulders. He popped a pill and worked on a few drills to get him set for the game.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless  
Lost under the surface  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure  
Of walking in your shoes

[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

The drills were worthless. He was raring to go. He wanted to be out on the court against nine other men. Playing for the ultimate gift. He needed that gift. He needed Dan to say that he was proud. That's all that matters...being the winner. He remembered a saying his dad told him as a child. "Losers don't get remembered for anything good. They are only remembered as the explanations for why the game was lost. To lose is to fail and failure is unacceptable." Those words swirled around his mind as he walked outside for a drink and some fresh air.

__

I've Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you

He was walking back inside when he noticed Haley looking at him. He just cut his eyes at her. What did she know about his life? He had to be a success it was the only thing that Dan understood. She wouldn't understand because her parents aren't like his. They have the 'tutor-girl _slash _'perfect daughter'. She'd probably never disobeyed her parents. What did she know about his life other than what he mentioned every now and then? She couldn't control him....but he hated making her feel like she was worthless because in all honesty she's the best thing in his sorry excuse for a life.

__

Can't you see that you're smothering me  
Holding too tightly  
Afraid to lose control  
'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you

[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
Every step that I take is  
Another mistake to you  
[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
And every second I waste  
Is more than I can take

GAMETIME!!!! WHOA!!! Need some more adrenaline to pump...he popped two more pills and then met up with the rest of the team. It was Showtime. The ball was in his court and he knew exactly what to do with it. He was making shots and adding points to the board as well as working on a school record. Screw Dan's record. He was going for the 1984 Michael Jordan 63 point game. He wanted to do something that hadn't been done before. He had to alienate his father as a mean of competition. He had to put his father to shame and at the same time end the pressure. He had to escape from his dad's shadow it looks like its going to happen.

__

  
I've Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you

GREAT GAME NATE....he can read the words in his dad's eyes. He could see that gift slowly starting to unwrap itself. Such a prize. Finally the time will come and the one thing that he had longed for would be his....he just needed to stay up on the game...He couldn't let Jake or Tim or Lucas, especially not Lucas, take _his_ spotlight. It was _his_ night and all _his_ dreams were about to come true....All _he_ had to was keep working hard.

__

And I know  
I may end up failing too  
But I know  
You were just like me  
With someone disappointed in you

TIMEOUT!!!! Great just the break needed...not too long and not too short. It was time for him to pull out the big guns. Wait a minute...his mind was hazy. His vision is blurry. He wants to gasp for air, but he can't. His body is losing feeling fast. _NATHAN!! _He can hear them scream his name and there is nothing that he can do to answer the call. He sees a flash of light and feels his body hit the ground.... and then it goes dark....He can't feel anything..........HE'S NUMB...HE CAN"T WIN THIS TIME...HE CAN NEVER WIN...THANKS DAN!!!!!

__

I've Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you


End file.
